Kazakhstan has adopted a decision to toughen penalties for “bride kidnapping.” The move is far from accidental: for years, such incidents in the region were often tolerated under the guise of “tradition.” Yet bride kidnapping can be neither a custom nor a legitimate path to marriage—it is the use of force against a person’s will.

In Azerbaijani society, there has also long been a degree of indifference toward this issue. In many cases, bride kidnapping was regarded as something ordinary. The phrase “once a girl is taken, there is no going back” even became ingrained in the collective mindset. Such attitudes, however, have left deep psychological scars on both the women involved and their families.

In truth, bride kidnapping is not a step toward building a family, but an act of violence. Stripping a person of the right to choose and trampling on their wishes does not create a family—it shatters a life. All too often, these cases have not ended in happiness but in divorce, abuse, and even suicide. The result is not a “tradition” but a tragedy.

Kazakhstan’s decision shows that states must confront deeply rooted misconceptions in society through legal mechanisms. In Azerbaijan, bride kidnapping is also considered a criminal offense under the law. Yet in some regions, there remains a tendency to turn a blind eye or to resolve such matters “peacefully,” which perpetuates the problem.

We must not forget: a family built on coercion can have neither happiness nor a healthy future. As societies evolve, we too must understand that a tradition which brings joy may endure—but if it destroys lives, it is no longer a tradition, it is a crime.

Leyla Mirza, Bizimyol.info